karma, where are you?

I believe in life, everyone should get what they deserve. Each action should recipricated with equal energy back, the amount you put in is the amount you get back. The more hate you put in the more hate you get back. but unfortunatley, i've come to realize that surely is not the case. it makes my skin crawl when i see people getting what they certainly don't deserve; it makes me incredibly sick. Is it jealousy on my part? No, quite honestly I can accept when someone has worked hard to get where they are, and if they've put in the effort, heck, give them their reward. But when people can waltz through life with their immoral, hate filled, egotistical lives effotlessly, I deeply desire some sort of ounce of karma to sneak up on them unexpectedly. Yes, i've heard the speech about how these party girls and slacker stoners will end up with lame office jobs, overweight and stuck in Timmins Ontario, but for the moment, it doesn't help.I know it's terribly to wish badly upon others, I know, but sometimes it feels so good. As good as it may feel though, it gets me nowhere. In fact, instead of moving forward in my own goals and focuses, I fall backward down the dark slippery slope of envy and obession with others lives. I guess I have to celebrate others victories, as hard as it may be, but all the while be planning and scheming  behind closed doors on how to move ahead of the pack. I have a strange problem accepting the fact that i won;t always be number one, or two or even 34th. There will always be people, whether it be just one or thousands, better, more talented, more stylish, more interesting, more attractive than myself. But that's what makes it fun though, right? The thought that while you may not be at the top now, there's always that slight possiblility, and along the way you can learn from those people at the top of the pack. Those are the people there for inspiration, to envy but with a certain admiration. Plus, they always says it's lonely at the top anyways.