mmm, just some lovliness from the cottage.

just a thought.

fear is everything wrong with the world. now, most people think it's the total opposite, and that it's all to do with power, but i can't help but disagree. why is there wars? cause countries are so stricken by fear that they'll get invaded that they decided instead of being a reasonable human being and talking about it, they send out troops to blow everyone else up just like the games they used to play as a kid, except now the guns and bullets certainly aren't plastic. why do we buy all these useless material items and designer purses? cause we're fearful that we won't fit in, that we won't be liked or simply cause we're fearful that we won't be happy unless we have all our little toys, uber flashy multitasking cellphones and vehicles to keep us distracted by all the boredom enveloping us in our daily routine. we gossip cause we have this fear that others are cooler or intimidating and we are afraid of having an uncomfortable silence not filled with mindless chatter. we drink cause we're scared we won't have any fun without it and we're scared some other slightly more intoxicarted girl will get to the guy we have our eye on quicker. some get married cause there's fear that there won't be anyone better or they can't make it on their own finacially, then divorce cause they're scared that they are missing out on all the fun and on someone else who would love them more. we lie out of fear, we give up on amazing opportunities cause of fear and we quit and give up cause of fear. there's nothing wrong with fear, it's natural instinct even in nature, unless you let it take over you and make irrational decisions. then it's totally not okay, at all. blech, i hate writing some of these thoughts of mine at times cause i seem like those old ladies who write for low budget local community papers and have absolutly nothing worthwhile to say, but have to have a new article every week. oh well. if you actually read of all this, well i think you are a very great person and i invite  you to be my best friend if you so wish. if not, well, maybe that was a good decision on yout part. being my best freind is kind of a strenuous job. alrighty, bye.

perfect.

i think both this video and song is beautiful. makes me wanna travel to some unknown exotic location and just dance around.

nobody loves the egoists.

i can't stand people with big egos. i mean confidence is great and all, but too much, is well...too much. is there even such a thing as being humble anymore? i honestly think it's so darn rare. i mean we put everything on display: our facebook photos, who we're dating, our hot makeout sesh's in the hallways, our clevage, every little accomplishment or exotic vacation we've ever taken for once, maybe it's time to step back and keep a little for ourselves? bragging is not attractive if you never noticed, neither is flashing all of your personal life into the public. everyone loves the mysterious person. you know that person who you just wanna jump into their mind for a while and search around? peek through all of the corners and hidden crevases. oh well, thus ends my rant.

BUY ME.

The strangest thing happened today. I went to the mall, just to browse around with zero intention of purchasing anything until as soon as i set foot in the first store this immediate rush of want and a flood of urge swept over me, enveloping in immense need for everything i happened to lay my wandering eyes upon. The dress that was actually rather bland seemed to jump off the rack, smothering me in desire, the lipsticks in their fancy little packaging screamed my name lustfully and dozens of shoes magically appeared on my feet desperatly pleaing to join my already embarrassingly extensive collection. My head started to spin, my palms got clammy, fingers ran themselves over the surface of any item them could get ahold of, frantically grabbing stuff to take with me. I had to almost sprint out of the store to clear out my head and hide from all the daunting temptation. I sulked back home, the stunning, appealing items dancing, swirling around in my mind. I looked in my closet back home ashamed of all the clothes, immediatly embarassed by all the impractical shoes, the makeup-every colour of the rainbow. I felt trapped, suffocated beyond belief. I do love my stuff, my clothes are like my friends, but i've decided to avoid all shopping centers for a while now. Possibly just spend that extra time building stronger realtionships with the stuff i do have and not have some more pointless flings with extra things that aren't needed.

this facade ain't foolin' noone.

the memories that you will cherish, the friendships and bonds that will last a lifetime, the choices you make here will dictate your entire life, this is the place where life begins...ect. ect. all these overused cliches are used relentlessly to describe that one place that either "makes or breaks you" is either "heaven or hell" and you are either "popular or untimately uncool". you take your label and deal with it, whether you 're fond of it or not. truthfully, i don't believe one bit of any of that ridiculousness, it's simply the mass produced idea that big shots in the media world shove down our throats in the form of lame and too-cheesy-for-words "movies" (if that's what you wanna call them), music and t.v shows. the even more ridiculous thing is that it appears as if a heckuva lot of us actually buy into that garbage! we're playing high school by the rule books. step-by-step making sure it's the "perfect high school experience" i see the self concious girls desperatly scavaging to check off all the things in their to-do list on how to be popular: cute outfits, subtle cleavage, expert flirting with just the right boys, attend every party where we laugh at jokes that aren't funny, makeout with any horny boy or girl that we would never even look twice at if it wasn't for all that tequila in our fruity mixed drinks and do rather trashy things we've been patiently awaiting for the moment we're drunk enough to do. or the equally as insecure boys, with their i'm-so-freakin-cool facade, their days simply a never ending quest to get girls to do dirty little things that we were shocked and disgusted to find out adults did as kids. school work is only for nerds, and why would we need to do work anyways? we'll just find some crap job a monkey could do and spend all our money on beer and guys nights out and not on our children's educations, cause why would my kids even think about going to college? we are not clever, nor witty, and any conversation we have about "love" is simply our lust screaming in the hopes that you might just take your clothes off, cause girls are never beautiful, just hot. all of us male and female drones aren't looking to save the world, we just wanna look good and party. i think we're all more than this stereotype, so why is it the only colours some show? we all have these fabulous quirks just scraping and gnawing inside of us to be free and get its fame, and it's not a bad thing. it's actually downright beautiful, those quirks. i know there's more than what the eye sees, but sometimes it's worrying when even when the eye prys, theres still nothing more to it. high school is like this alternate reality, what happens there, whether it be our so called "labels" our friends, ous grades, our attitudes or our style, is not exactly reflective of what's really in the real world. i dunno what i'm trying to say, maybe just don't be fake? but maybe you don't know you're being fake, maybe you're just being " you " and this whole rant means absolutly nothing. oh well, i tried. in any case, my conclusion goes like this: high school can be anything you want it to be. it doesn't have to be some high school musical prototype, you don;t have to be in a clique or resort to being an absolute loner, just pave your path, and pave it through a tropical jungle full of life and colour, not through some old downtown streets that have been paved far too many times.

yours truly,
hannah.